Thankful Thursday

I just have to say, I am so thankful for good neighbors.  I think that is one thing I really love about living in a small town.  On Monday we were able to go help a neighbor with some sheep and some fencing.  Then, another neighbor told us about some old but still good fencing that was just taking up space at their place that we could haul away, so my wonderful husband and his dad did just that and now we have a better fence around our sheep.  It is so nice to have people around to give help to, and to help.  I love living here.

Feeling Better

I'm feeling much better after I had a good cry last week.  I keep reminding myself that a good night's sleep and some perspective help with a lot of life's ills.  Prayer helps, too.  I have a quote taped to my mirror that I look at everyday.  It says "Today's Test is tomorrow's Testimony".  I like that.  It reminds me that I can get through today and I will be stronger because of it.

Trusting and in Faith

So, about a week ago it hit me, if I hadn't had my miscarriage I would be having my baby any day now.  I felt sad.  I still feel a little sad when I remember.  I know that if I had my baby right now many things would be different in my life.  I would not be involved in some of the good projects I am currently involved in.  I would not have had the energy to can the few jars of tomatoes that did get canned this year.  I would be less available to help others in this their time of need. 

I know that God has a plan for each of our lives.  I believe that His plan is ultimately the best one if we have faith and trust in it.  I don't know why I lost that baby, but I trust that there was a reason and one day I will know that reason.  I also trust that this baby will come when he/she is supposed to.  Trusting and having faith isn't always easy, but when I think about what my life would be without it, it's sure a lot easier than living without some kind of answers. 

It Never Ends....

You know what chore bothers me the most lately?  Well, if you didn't I'm going to tell you, laundry.  It's one of those things that needs done, and it needs to happen often, but not as often as I seem to be doing it.  If I had my way I would have all of the clothes and linens in a separate room instead of in a place where the children can get to them.  I wash too many blankets and sheets because the kids use them to build forts, then leave them on the floor to get mud and dog hair all over them.  I'm also tired of my 3 year old taking all of the clothes out of her drawers looking for something and her big sisters putting all those clean clothes in the laundry basket, only to have a peed pair of panties get tossed on top of them so that I have to wash them all again.

I can't convince my husband to let me have a clothes room, though.  He thinks it's good for the kids to have dressers and closets in their rooms.  I can see his point, but I'm not sure he's seeing my point.  My big girls are pretty much the same size so they basically share all of their clothes.  In fact, besides a few specifics that they have gotten for birthdays or other special occasion, there is no distinguishing who's are who's.  Amazingly enough, they don't fight about it either.  It may change as they get older, but I'm enjoying it for now.  I dream of a room where clothes are sorted by size and gender and not by who they belong to.  I long for a linen closet that stays organized, instead of one where blankest get pulled down and shoved in.  I wish I didn't have to do so much washing, drying, putting away of clothes. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that we have plenty of clothes to wash and blankets to keep us warm all winter.  I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have this problem.  I can't help but reflect how sometimes our greatest blessings can also be great burdens.  I keep thinking I should downsize on the amount of clothes we have, then some child complains that they are out of underwear or can't find any pants and I wonder if I had less clothes would they have enough to wear, since they run out when they have tons?  Maybe I could keep up with the laundry better if I didn't feel so overwhelmed?  Maybe if I didn't have to wash so many blankets, sheets, and towels I could get around to washing their underwear.  If I had all their clothes in one room instead of hiding in each of their rooms maybe I could monitor better what needed to be done?  Did I mention this room would have a lock on it so that they couldn't go in and grab whatever, whenever?  I also think their bedrooms would be cleaner if their clothes weren't in there.  I could be wrong on that one, but I don't think so.

Thankful Thursday

I feel the need to express some gratitude today.  So, here are 5 things I'm thankful for right now.

1.  My tatting shuttle and thread.  I love that I can take two simple, ordinary things and use them to create something beautiful.  Right now I am working on an American Flag and I can hardly wait to finish it.

2.  Pinterest.  I found a new recipe today that may solve some of my excess squash dilemma.  I don't normally like to bake, but this one looked good.  I've also found many, many other fun crafts, blogs, and homeschooling ideas.

3.  Idaho's homeschooling laws.  I truly feel blessed to live in Idaho and school my children the way I feel they should learn, not the way someone in a big government building thinks they should learn.

4.  My midwife.  I'm glad I found someone who is such a good fit for me and my family, Robert even likes her. 

5.  My piano.  It's not the newest, or the greatest, but it works.  I'm so glad to be able to have music in my home and that my children love music.  I love hearing them practice and make up their own songs.  I love that I recently got to do a duet with my daughter for her piano recital and that we can share this together.

Keeping in Touch With Friends

I'm going to do a little musing and reminiscing here so pardon my nostalgia.  I have been thinking a little lately about letter writing.  I started writing letters when I was still in grade school.  I don't know for sure when, but I do know I moved and wanted to keep in touch with a couple of my friends and former teachers.  I also wrote to my cousins and to my grandparents when they served a mission for our church.  As I entered Junior High and High School I kept up with my letter writing, adding friends I made from other towns, or friends from home when I went away for a couple of months.  I also began to write to missionaries.  At this time e-mail was still pretty new and phone calls could be expensive.  I wrote a lot of letters. 

With all of this letter writing I was able to keep in touch with a lot of friends for quite a while.  Letters from my cousins were some of my most prized possessions because they were some of my best friends.  I shared more thoughts from my heart and in return received many heartfelt letters in return.

Then life changed.  I got busy.  E-mail became more prevalent, and I lost touch with a good many of my friends.  I miss those days of writing letters.  I miss having a tangible expression of friendship and caring that I can read over and over again.

Today we have blogs and facebook.  I have been able to reconnect with some of those friends through these means.  I can read about some of what is going on in their lives and they can read about mine, but it feels impersonal sometimes.  I know that there are many details that I don't put on facebook or on my blog because they are too personal and private to just put out there, but things that I would tell friends if I was talking to them or writing a letter.  I'm sure that they are the same way. 

I'm happy to be able to connect with these friends.  If I am going to be anywhere near them I can get ahold of them and see about getting together.  It is fun to read about their lives, including pictures, for free.  I can't help but feel sad for what is lost, though.  I miss the intimacy of a letter.  I miss the thrill of going out to the mailbox and seeing my name on an envelope, and not having it be a bill.  It is nice to be able to curl up in a chair on in bed and read a letter, instead of sitting in front of a screen.  So, while I think technology is wonderful, I do think some things were better before.

Being There

You know, living on our wanna be farm brings some unique learning experiences.  We got to have one of those the other day.  This year we decided to add sheep to our resume.  We got some bottle lambs and one ewe.  Most of the lambs have done ok.  One of them was a runt, #5 in the batch, and weak.  We tried but she didn't make it longer than a week.  Another one got sick really sudden and died before we knew what was going on.  The kids were very sad in both instances.  They had loved on, played with, and bottle fed those two babies.  Then, we had a third lamb who was a little weaker and we were determined to avoid what happened the other two times.  Unfortunately our efforts didn't work out the way we wanted them too.  This time, though, my daughter was out trying to give him a bottle when he died.  She was holding him.  My daughter will be 9 next month, so she isn't that old.  When she came in crying, I knew what had happened.  She asked me to go out there with her.  So, despite being pregnant and having an aversion to all kinds of smells, I got on my boots and went out with her.  The lamb was in a little shed and the other sheep were outside.  She and I sat in there with little David (the lamb) and I listened to her and held her while she cried.  We talked, we cried, and we prayed together.  She had tried so hard to take care of and help that little lamb.  My husband was at work, but he got home about half an hour after this happened.  He helped our daughter bury her pet and again they prayed and cried and talked.  While they did that, I had gotten into a bath.  Well, I'd only been there about 10 minutes when my daughter came in, crying, and said she needed to cuddle.  I really wanted to stay where I was.  I had knots in my back and shoulders and I was finally relaxing, but I knew where I needed to be, and it wasn't in that nice, warm water.  I got out and she and I cuddled on my bed.  She got her diary out and wrote down some of her feelings.  Then we talked some more, cuddled, and she fell asleep.  My sweet husband slept on the couch that night so that she could stay where she was.  The next day she was doing better.  She wrote in her journal again, but she seems to be more accepting of the fact that David is gone.  I know she misses him, but she is strong.  My heart breaks that she was so sad and learned this lesson so young.  I'm glad for the chance I had to be there with her.  I'm sure this won't be the last time something like this happens and I hope that I can always remember that my children's feelings are important.  I hope that I can be a soft place for them to come to.  A place where they can find safety and peace.  After all, isn't that what a mother is for?