Anxiety Attacks

I don't know how many people deal with anxiety issues, but I know I am among them.  I would imagine it's a lot higher than most people realize.  There are probably many people who are like me that know there is something going on with them, but don't have a name for what it is.   At one point in time I was worried that I had depression, which is common in my family, and I went in to see a doctor.  They actually diagnosed me with anxiety.  So, now I have a name to define what I'm feeling. 

I've dealt with anxiety for a long time.  I remember in college that there was a co-worker who made my life at work kinda miserable.  I would shake and cry before going into work if I knew she was working with me.  At another time in life I had a friend who was emotionally draining and I would have anxiety attacks after an evening of spending time with this friend.  I'm not on any medication for my anxiety (the one time they put me on some I had side affects that I really didn't like so I quit taking it).  I've learned a few coping strategies that work for me, though, and usually my anxiety is fairly mild.  If it ever got worse I would seek medical help, but for now I'm mostly okay.

I have learned something about my anxiety attacks.  Most of them occur around moments of confrontation, either real or imagined.  Some happen after the fact, like the time I got yelled at for not letting someone pick something up because they couldn't give me their receipt saying they bought it.  Some happen when I imagine a confrontation, like my former job.  There have been a few exceptions, like a change I wasn't expecting.  But overall, most of my anxiety attacks are a result of confrontation.  While I'm in the midst of it I'm usually okay, it's always either before or after the fact that I start shaking, my heart starts racing and I feel like I'm going to be sick or cry, or both.

So, unless I closet myself away (which isn't healthy for me or my family) there is no way that I can avoid confrontation.  The question I have, then, is how do I handle those confrontations without having an anxiety attack?  Case in point.  I have a cousin who was baptized.  I told my aunt a few weeks before that we would probably be coming.  I realized just a few days before that I hadn't told her for sure, and I didn't know if she would have room for us.  I didn't want to assume that I could just show up at her house and have her put me and my kids up for the night, when I knew that there were already going to be quite a few people staying at her house.  The idea of calling up my aunt to ask if we could stay at her house made me sick to my stomach and almost made me want to quit the idea of going altogether.  That does not seem rational to me, especially because when I did call her she was planning on me coming and was making arrangements for my family.  This was just a small thing, all I had to do was make a quick phone call, but it made me sick to my stomach, and this was a family member, who I know loves me.  It can be even worse if I have to call a stranger.

I know stress is also another trigger.  I don't have nearly as many attacks when my stress level is low as I do when it is high.  Yet, I don't know how to get rid of the stress either.  I just want a Utopian world where life runs smoothly, people are nice to each other and doing your best is all that anyone asks of you.  I know that this isn't going to happen anytime soon and that we can't grow stronger without meeting some kind of resistance.  I just wish I had a text book with answers for my own personalized life that said, when A happens understand that B is the reason, and do C.  Since I don't ever see that book being published I will just have to hone my coping skills and hope I make the right choices.

What I have realized I need to do when these times come is to take a step back, first.  I look at what is going on.  Have I blown things out of proportion?  Is there another solution to my dilemma?  Depending on the situation and how physically sick I am, I often will call someone I know who has a calmer head than me.  In college it was my mom and she could talk me through it.  Now it is usually my husband, but if he isn't available, my mom is usually there, and if no one else can help me my Heavenly Father is always there.  Often though, he sends me help in the form of my husband and mom.  After taking that step back I can usually figure out if I have real reasons for not wanting to do something, or if they are imagined.  Then, if it is all in my mind, I take that scary first step.  Once I start then my survival instincts kick in and I'm good.  I have noticed that very few times once I am in the middle of something do I have problems.  Or, if it is after the fact, I try to let it go and just move on with my life, what's done is done.

I can also do some things to make it so that my mind isn't so easily beset by these plaguing thoughts.  For me I am much calmer if I get enough sleep.  This means, in my case, not staying up really late, and getting up early.  I need quiet meditation time and about the best time for me is in the morning before my children wake up.  I take this time to watch the sunrise and relax in the glory of this wonderful world.  I read my scriptures and find strength and peace in them.  I pray.  Another thing that really helps me is to have a clean house.  When my surroundings are neat and peaceful, it's like an extension of my mind, calm and peaceful.  This isn't always easy to do with 4 kids, but I can usually find at least 1 room of my house that I can retire to when I am feeling a little frazzled and I can regroup. 

This is what I have found to work for me.  How about you?  Do you suffer from anxiety?  How do you deal with it?