Hidden Sorrows

What is it about us that we feel to hide so many sorrows and struggles.  It could be an illness such as cancer or depression.  Maybe it is financial struggles or something that has caused us sadness and pain, hurtful words spoken to us or some loss that we have had.  So many times we take these things and we lock them up inside, putting on a mask or withdrawing from those around us, lest anyone should guess the truth.

Why do we do this?  Are we afraid?  What do we have to be afraid of?  Fear that we will be treated differently?  Fear that someone will say or do something else to hurt us?  Fear that someone will help us and then we will feel indebted to them?

The scriptures tell us that we should should help one another.

8. ...and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;

9. Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort...           Mosiah 18: 8-9

or in the New Testament

2.  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2

 And yet, if we are unwilling to share, if we keep everything hidden inside then are we guilty of not allowing others to follow the scriptures?  We tell ourselves that we would gladly help share someone else's burden, but we are unwilling to share our burden with anyone else.

Now, when I say this, don't think I mean that we should all air our dirty laundry or ask for hand-outs.  I don't mean for us to expect others to take care of our problems.  I do believe there are things, however, that when shared can help us heal or lighten our burden.  The woman who loses a baby before anyone knows she was pregnant.  The neighbor who gets cancer but doesn't want anyone to know.  The family who is doing everything they can to meet their financial obligations, but they are barely able to meet their current needs.  All of these people keep it all in until either enough time passes to dull the pain, or something happens that they can no longer hide their situation.

The thing is, to the person who suffers depression and just wishes for something good in their life, a smile and a kind word can make a world of difference.  To one who is sick  and wishing they didn't have to make dinner, a meal brought in provides peace of mind and rest.  To someone who just doesn't know where the money they need is going to come from $20 may not break you, but it could mean food for their family.  The thing is, most of the time we don't know about these needs.  The Spirit can, and does, often speak to us leading us to help others, but just as we teach our children to ask for what they want, we need to also ask.

Then again, who do we ask?  As children we ask our parents.  As adults, how many close relationships do we share?  We have become a nation of texting and facebook and while those things are good in their own rite, they are not everything.  How often do we sit and visit face to face, or call someone up on the phone and listen to their voice? We take our world and compress it into little tiny bites like ttyl, idk, or lol.  We share what we are cooking for dinner, our favorite t.v. shows, what cute thing our child said/did, but we don't share our hearts.  We don't share our inner thoughts (although sometimes people share too many thoughts that maybe should be kept personal).  We hide behind the superficial part of our lives and never have to form meaningful relationships.

Pride.  I think often that is what it all comes down to.  We are too proud to accept help.  We think that we can take care of it ourselves.  We don't want to be a burden on anyone else.  We may have gotten ourselves into the situation and feel we need to get ourselves out of it.  We think we need to rely on only ourselves, or we pray to God and ask for a miracle, but we don't take the extra steps to help him fulfill the miracle.  We don't ask for help.  I know I'm guilty of this.  Right now, I don't even know how to begin fixing it.  Like my blog title says, this is a musing of my heart.  I will keep on musing and maybe I will find some answers for my own soul.  I hope so.