I Found Some Peace

Okay, since I decided to tell all of you about the struggle I've had with my youngest sister, I thought I should also tell you how I have finally found a measure of peace.  I've really struggled with my feelings towards my sister and my perceptions on what I think she is thinking.  I've prayed about this a lot, I've gone to the temple and taken it to the Lord, and I've talked with my sweet husband.  Finally, after thinking about some of the talks given during General Conference, I got an answer.  More of an impression, actually, but it was still an answer to my prayers. 

You see, I've never heard of anyone getting in trouble for caring too much.  I know there is a fine line between helping and enabling sometimes, but if we err on the side of helping, as far as our conscience lets us, then we should be okay.  Also, I don't really have a stewardship over my sister except to love her.  I'm not her parent or her ecclesiastical leader, I'm her sister.  I don't have to like what she has done.  I don't think these are the best circumstances for this baby to come into the world, but she's coming.  My sister and her baby are going to need a lot of help, and I need to be there to help her if I can. 

I feel peace with that answer.  It's not up to me to judge my sister's heart.  She already knows how I feel about what she's done.  I will do what I have to to protect my children, we've already had many talks about getting married before having babies.  After all of that is said and done, though, I need to love my sister.  It isn't going to be easy.  I now need to work on building our relationship again.  I've been avoiding her for the last 5 months.  I still have some negative feelings I need to let go of.  They are slowing, but surely, being released.  I hope that by the time this baby joins our family in a couple weeks that I will be ready to love her and her mother with my whole heart.