Friday, August 12, 2016

Body Image vs Self Image

I had a baby in April. This is baby #7 for me. The last 3 children have come in 3 years. Before I got pregnant I had gotten down to my pre-pregnancy weight. This last pregnancy I gained more weight than I have in a long time. I figured I would lose it in a similar manner than I did the last couple of times. Well, it hasn't happened. Usually I lose about half of it fairly quickly and then pretty slowly to a certain point where I stay until I start weaning my children and working out more. Well, my initial weight loss wasn't very much and I haven't continued to lose. Since I wasn't planning on having my kids so close together I had gotten rid of my larger clothes. Now I'm at a bigger size and I have very few clothes that are not maternity clothes. Part of me kept holding out on buying anything because I told myself that I was just going to lose the weight here soon and I didn't want to invest in something I would only wear for a couple months. However, the more time that went by without me losing weight, the worse I felt for not having anything cute to wear. This left me a couple things to do. I could continue on as I was and hoping, but feeling horrible. I could drastically change my diet, start extreme exercising, and possibly risk hurting my milk supply, or I could accept that my body knows what it needs, I can eat healthy and moderately exercise, and buy bigger clothes. I have changed my diet in the past and my milk changed and it did affect my babies. I'm not willing to do that again. I also didn't want to keep feeling yucky. So, I am buying bigger clothes.

I'm actually really ok with this now. At first I wasn't. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't as skinny as I used to be. I had worked really hard to lose weight before getting pregnant. I've never really worried about my weight before. I usually eat pretty well and while I don't like to sweat I do try to get some moderate exercise in. I have tried to focus on energy level and how I feel physically and emotionally be bigger determining factors. Most of the time this works, but I had become a bit vain. This was my body image. It was not a good one. The thing that I needed to remember was about me. I can be a good mom at any size. I can be a good friend at any size. Size does not determine my self worth. So, I repaired my self image and realized that I do deserve to have clothes that I look and feel good in. If I do only wear them for 3 months, that is ok. I can trust in God that I will always have what I need when I need it. When my size changes I will be able to get clothes that fit. Right now I can get clothes that fit. It's ok.

I wish that so much of our society wasn't fixated on size. I hated seeing so many new moms stressing about losing weight right after having their babies. It was horrible seeing women stressed about what their doctor might say about their weight gain during pregnancy. We all have different bodies. We are built different, have different metabolisms, and different health concerns and needs. I wish that we focused more on just being healthy. If we could support each other in learning how to eat healthy foods and stay fit. And if we would remember to tell each other how special we are whether we are a size 22 or a size 2. Since I can't change anyone else I will work on me. I will also do what I can to build up my daughters and teach them the importance of eating well and being healthy and not focus on size. Hopefully they too can build each other up instead of beating themselves up.

Friday, August 5, 2016

I have really missed blogging. The last couple of years have been really crazy with a lot of ups and downs. During all of this time I've let a lot of things take a back burner, but this blog is something that has been on my mind and I hope that I've figured out a way to make it work so that I can blog again. So, it's getting late tonight, but keep your eyes peeled for a post coming up soon.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thankful Thursday

I just have to say, I am so thankful for good neighbors.  I think that is one thing I really love about living in a small town.  On Monday we were able to go help a neighbor with some sheep and some fencing.  Then, another neighbor told us about some old but still good fencing that was just taking up space at their place that we could haul away, so my wonderful husband and his dad did just that and now we have a better fence around our sheep.  It is so nice to have people around to give help to, and to help.  I love living here.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Feeling Better

I'm feeling much better after I had a good cry last week.  I keep reminding myself that a good night's sleep and some perspective help with a lot of life's ills.  Prayer helps, too.  I have a quote taped to my mirror that I look at everyday.  It says "Today's Test is tomorrow's Testimony".  I like that.  It reminds me that I can get through today and I will be stronger because of it.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Trusting and in Faith

So, about a week ago it hit me, if I hadn't had my miscarriage I would be having my baby any day now.  I felt sad.  I still feel a little sad when I remember.  I know that if I had my baby right now many things would be different in my life.  I would not be involved in some of the good projects I am currently involved in.  I would not have had the energy to can the few jars of tomatoes that did get canned this year.  I would be less available to help others in this their time of need. 

I know that God has a plan for each of our lives.  I believe that His plan is ultimately the best one if we have faith and trust in it.  I don't know why I lost that baby, but I trust that there was a reason and one day I will know that reason.  I also trust that this baby will come when he/she is supposed to.  Trusting and having faith isn't always easy, but when I think about what my life would be without it, it's sure a lot easier than living without some kind of answers. 

Friday, September 7, 2012

It Never Ends....

You know what chore bothers me the most lately?  Well, if you didn't I'm going to tell you, laundry.  It's one of those things that needs done, and it needs to happen often, but not as often as I seem to be doing it.  If I had my way I would have all of the clothes and linens in a separate room instead of in a place where the children can get to them.  I wash too many blankets and sheets because the kids use them to build forts, then leave them on the floor to get mud and dog hair all over them.  I'm also tired of my 3 year old taking all of the clothes out of her drawers looking for something and her big sisters putting all those clean clothes in the laundry basket, only to have a peed pair of panties get tossed on top of them so that I have to wash them all again.

I can't convince my husband to let me have a clothes room, though.  He thinks it's good for the kids to have dressers and closets in their rooms.  I can see his point, but I'm not sure he's seeing my point.  My big girls are pretty much the same size so they basically share all of their clothes.  In fact, besides a few specifics that they have gotten for birthdays or other special occasion, there is no distinguishing who's are who's.  Amazingly enough, they don't fight about it either.  It may change as they get older, but I'm enjoying it for now.  I dream of a room where clothes are sorted by size and gender and not by who they belong to.  I long for a linen closet that stays organized, instead of one where blankest get pulled down and shoved in.  I wish I didn't have to do so much washing, drying, putting away of clothes. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that we have plenty of clothes to wash and blankets to keep us warm all winter.  I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have this problem.  I can't help but reflect how sometimes our greatest blessings can also be great burdens.  I keep thinking I should downsize on the amount of clothes we have, then some child complains that they are out of underwear or can't find any pants and I wonder if I had less clothes would they have enough to wear, since they run out when they have tons?  Maybe I could keep up with the laundry better if I didn't feel so overwhelmed?  Maybe if I didn't have to wash so many blankets, sheets, and towels I could get around to washing their underwear.  If I had all their clothes in one room instead of hiding in each of their rooms maybe I could monitor better what needed to be done?  Did I mention this room would have a lock on it so that they couldn't go in and grab whatever, whenever?  I also think their bedrooms would be cleaner if their clothes weren't in there.  I could be wrong on that one, but I don't think so.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thankful Thursday

I feel the need to express some gratitude today.  So, here are 5 things I'm thankful for right now.

1.  My tatting shuttle and thread.  I love that I can take two simple, ordinary things and use them to create something beautiful.  Right now I am working on an American Flag and I can hardly wait to finish it.

2.  Pinterest.  I found a new recipe today that may solve some of my excess squash dilemma.  I don't normally like to bake, but this one looked good.  I've also found many, many other fun crafts, blogs, and homeschooling ideas.

3.  Idaho's homeschooling laws.  I truly feel blessed to live in Idaho and school my children the way I feel they should learn, not the way someone in a big government building thinks they should learn.

4.  My midwife.  I'm glad I found someone who is such a good fit for me and my family, Robert even likes her. 

5.  My piano.  It's not the newest, or the greatest, but it works.  I'm so glad to be able to have music in my home and that my children love music.  I love hearing them practice and make up their own songs.  I love that I recently got to do a duet with my daughter for her piano recital and that we can share this together.