When I got married both my husband and I knew that once children came along I would be staying home. We both felt that our children would benefit more from having me home than from any extra income that I might bring in. So, as the time got closer to when I due with my first child, I put in my 2 weeks notice and began preparing to be a full time mommy. I remember only bits and pieces of those early days even though they weren't that long ago. I remember my mom came to stay with me for a week. I remember wanting to cry as she left, and then crying after she was gone. I remember the first time I left her for longer than an hour. My sister-in-law watched he while I took my husband to see his all-time favorite country singer in concert. I hadn't quite left her with enough milk and my baby cried for about an hour before we got back. We can laugh about it now, but it was hard to leave her with someone else.
The next time I left her she was a little older, but I decided to help out at the bookstore that I used to work at from Thanksgiving to Christmas. The little bit of extra money was nice, especially around the holidays. Another sister-in-law watched her during that time if Robert was at class or working. I worked during the holiday season for 3 years in a row and while I enjoyed it, I did not enjoy having to find someone to watch the kids, even if it was family. I mean, I know that my kids had a blast playing with their cousins and I don't think my sister-in-law minded, but it was hard to leave them. I ran into the same thing with my own personal business. I am a Mary Kay consultant. I love Mary Kay, I love the products and I love the wonderful people that I've met doing this, but I don't love having to find someone to watch my kids.
You see, I've always wanted to be a mom. In school when I said I wanted to be a teacher, or the one year I said I wanted to be a doctor, really, I just wanted to be a mom. I learned at church that the most important thing I can do in life is be a good mom to my kids. Before we got married my husband and I talked about what would happen when we had children and we both decided that I would stay home. I'm so glad that we were in agreement about that.
I love being a stay-at-home mommy. Has it been hard? You bet. Is it worth it, though? You bet! The hardest was probably after I had my second child. I got postpartum depression, but I didn't realize that is what was going on. I remember crying a lot. I also remember sitting out on my porch and doing a lot of visiting with my neighbors and that helped a lot. Even during that time I never regretted staying home. Sometimes I missed visiting with everyone I would meet at the bookstore, but they couldn't give me the hugs or kisses that I received from my children. Now I don't miss it at all. I still get breaks from my mommy responsibilities every once in a while. There will be a ladies activity at church or my husband will give me the day to go to town and get our errands run. Anything longer than just a few hours, though, and I miss my family.
My kids are still small so most of the struggles I've faced so far have been the potty training, pick up your toys kind. I'm sure as they get older that will change, but I wouldn't want to miss this for anything in the world.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wearing Skirts
I'm a girly-girl. I freely admit it. I like make-up and perfume, the color pink and wearing skirts. It's skirts that I want to talk about today. When I was in High School I played on a couple of sports teams. Whenever we would have a home game our coaches told us we had to wear skirts or dresses. I never really minded this, but I had some friends who sure did. I had plenty of skirts and dresses since I wore one every week to church, but some friends had to get one to wear. When I was in college I worked at a book store where we could only wear jeans on Fridays. I could either get dress pants or wear skirts and dresses. I did wear pants quite a bit because I had to climb ladders occasionally and I thought pants would be better, but when I got pregnant with my first child, I found my skirts and dresses much more comfortable and took to wearing them most of the time. Then, I had my daughter and I got back into wearing pants. It was easier when I was constantly getting down to change diapers and clean up messes.
Lately a friend of mine was making an effort to look more feminine and dress more in skirts. I was reminded how much I enjoy wearing skirts and began to wear them more often, also. Most of my skirts were dressy and more for church so I came up with an idea. I took a pair of pants that I couldn't wear anymore because of some holes it them, and I turned them into a skirt.
I did the same things first on one of my daughter's skirts to see if I could make it work, and then did my own. I love it! It is durable, I don't worry if I get mud or flour or snot on it. I feel like I can work in it and not be worrying about keeping it nice, and I am being "green" by using something I already had. I've gotten quite a few compliments on my skirt, too. I had a few more pairs of pants that I couldn't wear anymore and decided to make them also into skirts. Here is my second one:
This skirt is longer than the first one, at least in the front. I'm not sure what happened, but the front is longer than the back, but if I'm mostly wearing them at home then who cares? This one I used denim to fill in the middle part, I just used an old pair of my hubby's pants. He is really hard on jeans, so that wasn't hard to come by. I am still trying different techniques for adding that center piece. I'm not sure I've found the "perfect" way yet, but I love trying and making something new out of something old.
So what have I discovered through all of this. Well, in reading of other women's experiences I found it interesting that they felt other women were uncomfortable around them when they were wearing skirts. Why is this, I wonder? I've worn my skirts all over the place, to town shopping, to the school, to participate in a local co-op, and to church functions during the week. Mostly, I get compliments on my skirts and asked if I made them. Is it the type of skirts? Maybe. Like I said, mine are denim and so while they are "dressy" because they are a skirt, to me they aren't dressy at all because they are denim. I view dressy as materials that I worry about keeping clean, these skirts I treat like a well worn pair of jeans, because that is what they are.
Maybe it is certain types of people. I find that many of the people I know outside of church have a wider range of "acceptable" dress standards. If someone wants to wear a dress just because, great. If they want to wear hip hugging pants and tank tops, whatever. If their choice of style includes something tie dyed or is all black, that fine too. However, other groups of people have ideas that fall into more narrow margins. Clothing should be clean and neat. Nothing sleeveless or with bare midrifts. Nothing too tight or revealing. It almost feels like within these standards, though, the idea is t-shirts and jeans. To be comfortable you wear t-shirt and jeans, to be practical you wear t-shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl, t-shirts and jeans. The cut and style are slightly different for boys and girls, but t-shirts and jeans. Perhaps some of these t-shirt and jeans women want to be skirt and dress women. They see these skirts and want to be feminine, but think skirts would limit what they can do. Maybe they feel like they should be dressing more feminine, but don't want to so they feel guilt. I don't know. I can't say that I have ever noticed other women feeling uncomfortable around me when I'm wearing a skirt. Maybe it's the fact that I can't be too dressed up if I've got my comfy mary jane type tennis shoes peeking out from under the hem of my skirt.
The next thing I need to make me, though, is a nice big apron to cover up my skirt. Even though I don't mind if they get dirty, if I have to go into town, I'd rather not have snot or dirty handprints on my skirt if I can help it. A nice, big apron would just do the trick, don't you think?
Lately a friend of mine was making an effort to look more feminine and dress more in skirts. I was reminded how much I enjoy wearing skirts and began to wear them more often, also. Most of my skirts were dressy and more for church so I came up with an idea. I took a pair of pants that I couldn't wear anymore because of some holes it them, and I turned them into a skirt.
I did the same things first on one of my daughter's skirts to see if I could make it work, and then did my own. I love it! It is durable, I don't worry if I get mud or flour or snot on it. I feel like I can work in it and not be worrying about keeping it nice, and I am being "green" by using something I already had. I've gotten quite a few compliments on my skirt, too. I had a few more pairs of pants that I couldn't wear anymore and decided to make them also into skirts. Here is my second one:
This skirt is longer than the first one, at least in the front. I'm not sure what happened, but the front is longer than the back, but if I'm mostly wearing them at home then who cares? This one I used denim to fill in the middle part, I just used an old pair of my hubby's pants. He is really hard on jeans, so that wasn't hard to come by. I am still trying different techniques for adding that center piece. I'm not sure I've found the "perfect" way yet, but I love trying and making something new out of something old.
So what have I discovered through all of this. Well, in reading of other women's experiences I found it interesting that they felt other women were uncomfortable around them when they were wearing skirts. Why is this, I wonder? I've worn my skirts all over the place, to town shopping, to the school, to participate in a local co-op, and to church functions during the week. Mostly, I get compliments on my skirts and asked if I made them. Is it the type of skirts? Maybe. Like I said, mine are denim and so while they are "dressy" because they are a skirt, to me they aren't dressy at all because they are denim. I view dressy as materials that I worry about keeping clean, these skirts I treat like a well worn pair of jeans, because that is what they are.
Maybe it is certain types of people. I find that many of the people I know outside of church have a wider range of "acceptable" dress standards. If someone wants to wear a dress just because, great. If they want to wear hip hugging pants and tank tops, whatever. If their choice of style includes something tie dyed or is all black, that fine too. However, other groups of people have ideas that fall into more narrow margins. Clothing should be clean and neat. Nothing sleeveless or with bare midrifts. Nothing too tight or revealing. It almost feels like within these standards, though, the idea is t-shirts and jeans. To be comfortable you wear t-shirt and jeans, to be practical you wear t-shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl, t-shirts and jeans. The cut and style are slightly different for boys and girls, but t-shirts and jeans. Perhaps some of these t-shirt and jeans women want to be skirt and dress women. They see these skirts and want to be feminine, but think skirts would limit what they can do. Maybe they feel like they should be dressing more feminine, but don't want to so they feel guilt. I don't know. I can't say that I have ever noticed other women feeling uncomfortable around me when I'm wearing a skirt. Maybe it's the fact that I can't be too dressed up if I've got my comfy mary jane type tennis shoes peeking out from under the hem of my skirt.
The next thing I need to make me, though, is a nice big apron to cover up my skirt. Even though I don't mind if they get dirty, if I have to go into town, I'd rather not have snot or dirty handprints on my skirt if I can help it. A nice, big apron would just do the trick, don't you think?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Being Smart = Work
I have two blogs, one for family and one for me. On my family blog I have a list of other blogs that I like to visit. On some of those blogs there are also lists of blogs that I also like to visit. Why don't I have them on my blog? I don't know. However, I know that many of those blogs post topics that really cause me to think and evaluate what I think and how I'm living my life. They are inspiring and seem so smart! I want a smart blog. I want to post deep, soul-searching, and insightful posts. I have all kinds of thoughts and articles running through my head all the time, but as soon as I begin to try and put my thoughts into words, they get all mixed up.
When I was in school, I could regurgitate all kinds of facts and opinions. I could argue with the best of them as long as I'd read enough to get a basic understanding of what was going on. I could turn in really great papers to my teachers, especially once I understood what it is they wanted in a good paper. Really, though, all I was doing was taking other people's words and thoughts and making them sound like they were my own. I'm now in a stage of life where I should be forming my own opinions and thoughts. A stage where I can learn from others words, but where I truly decide for myself what it is I believe and want. I'm not writing papers to be graded by a teacher. I'm not even writing articles for others to read to secure a job for myself. I am simply writing my thoughts, beliefs and experiences to strengthen myself and to possibly strengthen someone else. I also write to organize my thoughts and to maybe get advice from other like minded people.
Mostly lately, I feel like I've been wanting someone else to tell me what to do. I feel like asking for advice and having someone say "Do this" or "Do that" or "Don't do that". And yet, I know if some was to take over my life and tell me how to run it I would not like that in the least. So, instead of asking for advice all the time, I want to post insightful things I've learned, but first I have to learn them, or at least recognize that I've learned something, and that takes work. Lots of hard work.
When I was in school, I could regurgitate all kinds of facts and opinions. I could argue with the best of them as long as I'd read enough to get a basic understanding of what was going on. I could turn in really great papers to my teachers, especially once I understood what it is they wanted in a good paper. Really, though, all I was doing was taking other people's words and thoughts and making them sound like they were my own. I'm now in a stage of life where I should be forming my own opinions and thoughts. A stage where I can learn from others words, but where I truly decide for myself what it is I believe and want. I'm not writing papers to be graded by a teacher. I'm not even writing articles for others to read to secure a job for myself. I am simply writing my thoughts, beliefs and experiences to strengthen myself and to possibly strengthen someone else. I also write to organize my thoughts and to maybe get advice from other like minded people.
Mostly lately, I feel like I've been wanting someone else to tell me what to do. I feel like asking for advice and having someone say "Do this" or "Do that" or "Don't do that". And yet, I know if some was to take over my life and tell me how to run it I would not like that in the least. So, instead of asking for advice all the time, I want to post insightful things I've learned, but first I have to learn them, or at least recognize that I've learned something, and that takes work. Lots of hard work.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Out With The Old
With the spring fever I've been having, but being able to get outside, I've taken to doing some cleaning inside. My father-in-law watched my younger two while the older two were at school and I went through a bunch of their toys and stuffed animals. I took out 2 garbage sacks of stuffed animals, 1 box of toys, and as I've been going through clothes I've gotten rid of 3 sacks of clothes. Plus a really big stuffed bear and a child's banana chair. My house feels so much better with that stuff gone, but I have a lot more I need to go through.
I need to go through the books again. Since I've begun reading the children more of the classics we have read less of their other books. Also, the library is a wonderful thing. They can check out their short little children's books, and then we can return them and they aren't cluttering up my bookshelves and ending up on the floor to be stepped on. I can only ready Barbie and Scooby-Doo so many times. Plus, I'm not a fan of Scooby-Doo right now because my baby is constantly pointing out "monsters" to me all over the place. Not only that, but I'm finding my taste in books is changing. I've discovered so many wonderful books that have clear differences of right and wrong, morals in keeping with my beliefs, and meaningful life lessons and that are also engaging and entertaining, that often when I read something else I come away disappointed. I'm disappointed in the "innocent" potty humor, the crudeness of many characters, especially boys. I'm disappointed in the roles of women and girls in many books. I'm disappointed in the weak story lines and character development. I want books that I can read to my children and they can play out the stories and become better boys and girls, men and women. I'm not sure how many books will be left when I get done, but don't worry, I'm compiling a list of these good books that I would like to own and I will be giving that list to family members just in case they are ever in want of an idea of what to give members of my family as gifts.
I also need to go through our dishes. It seems that the few times that we do go out to eat and my children receive their drinks in those little plastic cups that they bring the cups home and become part of our cupboards. Well, I now have a large supply of such cups, and I don't believe I need that many to wash time and again. Perhaps instead of donating them to a thrift store I will use them to start plants in here in a couple of weeks. I also have a rather large supply of butter knifes. I think I must have about 20-30 of them. I have no idea how I came to acquire so many, but I certainly am not going to use that many. Those, along with extra spatulas and wooden spoons, will most likely be donated to Deseret Industries. All of this should simplify my life, right?
I do have a few things that I would like to add my house, but I like the philosophy of one friend "Out with the old to make room for the new". If I'm so busy holding on to things that I can't make room for anything else then who knows how many good things I will be missing out on? And besides that, I have a lot of things that I've been hanging onto for one reason or another that don't bring me joy when I look at them, in fact, they weigh me down when I look at them. I think life is challenging enough as it is that we don't need extra things around us that are going to bring us down. So here is to "Out with the old to make room for the New!"
I need to go through the books again. Since I've begun reading the children more of the classics we have read less of their other books. Also, the library is a wonderful thing. They can check out their short little children's books, and then we can return them and they aren't cluttering up my bookshelves and ending up on the floor to be stepped on. I can only ready Barbie and Scooby-Doo so many times. Plus, I'm not a fan of Scooby-Doo right now because my baby is constantly pointing out "monsters" to me all over the place. Not only that, but I'm finding my taste in books is changing. I've discovered so many wonderful books that have clear differences of right and wrong, morals in keeping with my beliefs, and meaningful life lessons and that are also engaging and entertaining, that often when I read something else I come away disappointed. I'm disappointed in the "innocent" potty humor, the crudeness of many characters, especially boys. I'm disappointed in the roles of women and girls in many books. I'm disappointed in the weak story lines and character development. I want books that I can read to my children and they can play out the stories and become better boys and girls, men and women. I'm not sure how many books will be left when I get done, but don't worry, I'm compiling a list of these good books that I would like to own and I will be giving that list to family members just in case they are ever in want of an idea of what to give members of my family as gifts.
I also need to go through our dishes. It seems that the few times that we do go out to eat and my children receive their drinks in those little plastic cups that they bring the cups home and become part of our cupboards. Well, I now have a large supply of such cups, and I don't believe I need that many to wash time and again. Perhaps instead of donating them to a thrift store I will use them to start plants in here in a couple of weeks. I also have a rather large supply of butter knifes. I think I must have about 20-30 of them. I have no idea how I came to acquire so many, but I certainly am not going to use that many. Those, along with extra spatulas and wooden spoons, will most likely be donated to Deseret Industries. All of this should simplify my life, right?
I do have a few things that I would like to add my house, but I like the philosophy of one friend "Out with the old to make room for the new". If I'm so busy holding on to things that I can't make room for anything else then who knows how many good things I will be missing out on? And besides that, I have a lot of things that I've been hanging onto for one reason or another that don't bring me joy when I look at them, in fact, they weigh me down when I look at them. I think life is challenging enough as it is that we don't need extra things around us that are going to bring us down. So here is to "Out with the old to make room for the New!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
