2012 is Our Year

The best words to describe the last two years is that they have been learning experiences.  I can't say that all of those experiences have been very enjoyable, but we sure have learned a lot from them.  This year some of that is going to change, I just know it.  We have a lot of learning experiences yet to go through, but I believe that more of them will bring smiles to our faces.  My sweet husband is embarking on a new career in a field that we have very minimal experience in.  Yet, the opportunities are amazing, if we just work hard and stick to it.  So, we will do just that.  I am fully prepared to support him in whatever he needs me to do.  I will be fine with him working long hours and coming home late, grateful that he is coming home instead of staying in a hotel like he did much of last year.  I learned that I can take care of a lot of things around the house that he normally took care of, so I can help him that way too, and I will be very grateful for the weekends when he can help me.  There is so much potential in our future and I am very excited to see where we are going.  We are putting together some plans and goals for our life. For the first time in a long time they actually seem attainable.  That feels amazing!  The next couple of months I believe will be quite trying for us, but I hope to soon be able feel like I can breathe again.  I look at all of the things that have happened in the past two years and how they have led us to where we are now.  I am grateful for some of those challenges which I can now view as blessings.  I am grateful for all of the things they taught me, all of the lessons I learned, but I'm also ready to enjoy the good things that come from learning those lessons.

That brings me to what I want to have happen this year.  I've wavered back and forth on the idea of New Years Resolutions.  On the one hand, if you need to change, do it now.  On the other, a goal without a time line is just a dream.  It seems like the New Year is just as good a place to mark time as any.  So, this year I have a lot of things I want to do.  I want to paint some more of my house, specifically my hallway and my bedroom.  I want to make a new quilt for my bed.  I want to grow either kale or swiss chard in my garden this year, along with other favorites that I already know how to grow.  I have a goal to attend the temple more often this year.  I don't have a specific number of times right now, but I will take that up with the Lord.  I want to get some shelves installed in my sewing room.  I still want to eliminate more of the "stuff" from our house.  I also want to plant some more flower beds outside so that we can have pretty colors next summer.  Along with those, I have lots and lots of things I want to do, but I'm not sure when I want to have them done by or what priority they really are for me.  And of course, there are the things that my husband and I have decided together, like planting more grass, raising chickens for meat, and maybe even going in with my brother on a cow for meat.  He has a lot more plans for the outside that I mostly just give him my input on, but he will be doing most of the work, so I let him figure more of it out.

The best thing is, I have such a feeling of hope for this year.  Last year I clung to faith, believing that things would get better because we were doing the best we could.  This year I feel like we've passed some kind of test and while there are more tests to come, we will be getting a reward for the ones we've already passed.  I don't know if that makes sense, but honestly, I will take these feelings of happiness and go with it.  Words cannot describe the feelings of peace and love that the Spirit of the Lord can bring to you, even when life doesn't make sense and you wonder where all the good things have gone.  Thirteen months ago I gained a greater understanding of the word "despair" and now I hope to understand better what the word "hope" means also.

Who do I resemble?

I read a blog the other day where the author asked what fictional character you felt like you resembled, or that you could associate yourself with.  Well, I have a list of character that I wish I was more like, but I could not think of one, or even 2 that I felt I could compare myself to, until I read another person's response.  They referenced a short children's story, that reminded me of a book I really like.

I'll Do Better Tomorrow, I Promise by Maurine Reynolds Adamek.  The book goes through the day of a little boy and all of the ways he tried to help, but ended up trying is mother's patience.  At the end, the little boy is feeling kinda bad, but then the mother prays for forgiveness and promises to do better tomorrow.  I feel like that so many days.  I look back on the times I lost my patience, on the times when I wasn't as understanding as I could have been and think about how I could have done things differently.  This unnamed mother is probably the fictional character that I think I am most like.

The Blahs......

I have the winter blahs.  Not to be confused with the winter blues.  No, I am just really cold all the time.  It seems that very little of what I do seems to work to get me warm.  I will take a warm bath, but as soon as I get out, I'm cold again.  I dress in layers every day.  Changing my socks works for a while, but then I get cold again.  I am really missing warmer weather.  (At the same time I'm hoping for snow because it is January in Idaho and that is what is supposed to happen).  Also, I am so tired.  I think it has something to do with shorter days.  During the summer I could get up early and be busy most of the day and still have energy in the evening.  Now, I'm falling asleep almost before we put the kids to bed, and I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning.  It doesn't help that I'm snuggled up to the hubby and he's warm.  I need to get up earlier, I get so much more accomplished in the mornings, but I just don't have the motivation to get out of bed, especially when I'm so cold.