We have been trying to let Rachel learn to go back to sleep on her own. In other words, we let her cry for a while instead of picking her up everytime she makes a sound. This has led to less sleep at night for many of us. Rachel still sleeps in her crib in our room. The crib is right next to my side of the bed. At night she will wake up, stand up by me and scream at me. I will do whatever I can to soothe her short of actually picking her up and putting her in bed with me. This includes holding her hand, speaking soothingly to her or rubbing her head (she likes that for some reason). I know the whole time she is standing there screaming at me she is wondering why on earth I'm not picking her up and what it is that I'm doing. She just doesn't understand that I'm trying to help her sleep through the night by herself. She doesn't know that I want her to learn and develop skills to take care of herself instead of always relying on me. I'm there to help her and support her, but I'm not going to put her back to sleep anymore.
This got me thinking about my own life. I wonder what things I'm standing there screaming about while my Heavenly Father is holding my hand and trying to speak soothing words to me that I don't hear because I'm screaming? What lessons do I have to learn that will be good for me in the end that I don't want to learn because it isn't as easy? How long until I gain those skills to let go of the hand and listen and learn? I hope that I can become a quick learner, because Rachel sure is taking her time learning to fall back asleep, or maybe it just seems that way because I'm missing out on my sleep.
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Yeah I talked to Matt and he made Idaho sound pretty trippy & different from San Diego. So I would love to venture on up there sometime soon. But we'll have to see how the next couple months pan out.
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